Excerpted from:
Vote Robot, Just What the Donkey Ordered

EARL KUCK: Tell me more about the Seattle show.

KEVIN RIVARD: I gave away a lot of albums because I was scared about getting caught bringing them back in to Canada. The threat of paying duty and tariff fees twice is frightening. People were promising to send me copies of their "projects." I was really excited, but no one sent anything. Probably for the best.

God, you have no idea.

KEVIN RIVARD: I always have concerns regarding the border crossing. You have to brave this four-hour mountain pass and you still might be turned away by cranky, Jello Biafra-type customs men who've decided that letting in a couple Canucks who look like they just knocked over a Value Village for all their broken electronics ain't in the colonies' best interests.

One man's broken electronics are another man's potential security breach.

KEVIN RIVARD: Scotch was sharing memories of the Pacific Northwest, like the time the whole family went to watch Mt. St. Helens erupt and instead visited eight different Costco wholesale grocery marts. The chain still hadn't made it this far north yet, so going to Costco was like an event.

A pilgrimage to the old country.

KEVIN RIVARD: I'm sure that volcano would have been memorable but you can always rent the movie or sign it out from the library.

Is there a reason you don't like talking about your shows?

KEVIN RIVARD: No, they just involve too much lying and giving out fake contact numbers to shitty bands who want us to come back and open for them. "Okay, Vince and Barry, it was nice meeting you, I hope we can work together, blah, blah, blah." The things people say, assuming it's a compliment ...

SCOTCH AUGUST: One guy came up to me and said, "You guys were great, kinda like the Black Crowes." I said, "Thanks. Were you in the Black Crowes...?"

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